


Finding What Can't Be Found

by smalltrolven



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 6.22, Angsty Schmoop, Crying, Curtain Fic, First Kiss, First Time, M/M, Possessive Behavior, Schmoop, season 6, season 6 AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-12
Updated: 2012-09-12
Packaged: 2017-11-14 02:58:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/510584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smalltrolven/pseuds/smalltrolven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>DemonBela is sent on a mission from Crowley to stop GodCas from tearing the world apart, this involves finding Jesse the AntiChrist and getting Sam and Dean and Bobby to help too.  The story starts with Bela, but it isn’t about her at all, I promise.  In the end this is really just an AU curtain!fic which takes off a couple weeks after the events of 6.22.<br/>(I wrote this to comfort myself during hiatus before season 7 started.) </p><p>No profit being made by the author, thanks to the original creators of all these characters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Finding What Can't Be Found

When Bela is released from Hell, she’s surprised to find herself in Sydney, Australia, on what seems like a nice sunny, spring day.  This is the first time she’s been topside since she’d been taken to Hell by the hellhounds all those years ago. It seems like a lifetime to her, but if she’s anything, Bela is a survivor and she certainly isn’t going to let a surprise of location stop her in accomplishing her task.   She’s of course a full-on demon now, and she possesses the first woman she sees exiting the fanciest boutique in the downtown area that she’s hovering in. 

This first time in a meat suit is everything she’s been warned about, so strange, but she can see why it is said to be addictive amongst the demons.  Being formless, only so much black, sooty vapor in the real world is just not terribly satisfying compared to this feeling of being, of control, of presence.  She’s been sent here on a mission by Crowley (still the King of Hell).  Before becoming a demon she was always known as someone that was able to find just about anything or anyone, so she’s a natural choice for this particular gig. 

Bela sets herself up in the woman’s fancy top-floor apartment; it’s almost as nice as the one she used to have in New Jersey.  She’s pleased that this woman was beautiful by most people’s standards, softly waved deep auburn hair, a heart-shaped face with big blue eyes, and her body is in very fine shape.  Her form pleases her, and she revels in that small pleasure.   Her first task is to locate all the tools she’ll need to locate someone that is said to be impossible to find by either demons or angels.  She’s got to work to remember her old contacts in the magical items business, those memories buried deep under years of living in Hell and attaining her demon-hood. But she works it out and gets in contact with some of them quickly.  They’re very surprised to hear from her as she’s been gone for several years, and had disappeared so suddenly. 

When the souped-up Ouija board finally arrives, she’s ready with the arcane herbs and offerings needed for this working.  She waits until midnight, the usual hour, and begins with the first incantations, lighting the circle of blessed candles, burning sweet grass, yarrow, holy basil which all smell pretty good, but then the dried human bones and blood get added to the stone cauldron and the smell begins to assault her nose.  She momentarily appreciates that she has a nose to smell with, and gets on with the rest of the spell.  The powers accumulate and begin to shimmer around her, with her demon senses she can see so much more than humans. 

When the ancient one’s presence is finally fully formed she asks the question that she’s been sent up from Hell to find out.  “Where is the one known as the Anti-Christ, the child Jesse Turner?”  The ancient one’s presence pulses momentarily and begins to break apart.  She asks the question a second and then the required third time, completing the rest of the ritual, more offerings of blood and bone required at each asking of the question, and then some blood of her own as the ritual finishes.  As she wraps her arm in a cloth to stop the blood the answer comes.  Her ears pulse with the pressure of the sound waves, it is beyond human hearing, but she hears it with her demon ears and smiles slowly.  A spark now resides within her chest that beats out as if another heartbeat, a connection to Jesse that won’t be severed until she first touches him.

She bows deeply before the altar, “I give my thanks to you.”  The ancient one asks for something before it departs, to be released so it can never be summoned again.  She thought this might come up, and having a bit more appreciation for how it feels to be stuck in one form that doesn’t feel like you, she agrees, figuring there will be something in it for her.  Performing the unbinding ritual that she’d thought to bring along doesn’t take long and when the ancient one leaves, it leaves with her with a gift, she feels as if a cool spring breeze has blown through her body taking away all the tension retained by the possessed woman she’s riding.  It feels more like just her in this body now, no more fighting for control.

Knowing where Jesse is now isn’t the same thing as having him though, and that is her task.  Bring the anti-Christ into helping with Crowley’s plan.  Crowley’s worried about the angels finding Jesse first because his power may be the tipping point in this war he’s currently waging with that Purgatory soul power swiping traitor Castiel.  Crowley has promised Bela all sorts of things if she succeeds, such as being one of the highest, white-eyed varieties of demon, and she knows what awaits her if she fails.  So failure isn’t an option really because she’s been there and done that and is not going through it again.    

Bela sits quietly before a mirror and looks for the pulsing extra heart beat, concentrating on it in the mirror’s reflection, she can feel a pull and softens her eyes as images appear in the mirror, from someone else’s point of view.  She can see the ocean, she’s seeing a beach, there’s a sign near a trail leading into some scrubby trees, and it reads: Bay of Fires, Bicheno.  As soon as this sign appears, she turns to her laptop, and finds her destination is not so far away from Sydney, just across the water a bit over to Tasmania. 

She’s just powerful enough to move herself there, the newness of being able to just zap herself someplace a bit stunning really.  Bela finds herself on some red lichen-covered rocks near a small white sandy beach.  There aren’t many people there, and she’s able to zero in on Jesse with the help of the small pulsing beat in her chest.  Approaching him without scaring him is her first goal, so she puts on what she hopes is a warm, sisterly face and sits down next to his yellow and blue striped towel.

“Hey there mate, enjoying the sun today?”

Jesse lifts his head from his paperback novel in surprise, “Yeah, I guess.”

“Fancy some company? I’m new here and I’m a bit bored by myself.”

“No you’re not, you’re a demon.  What do you want?” Jesse answers stiffly.

“Ahh, I was told you were a sharp one.  I want to talk to you about Castiel.  I expect you know what’s going on right?”

“Yeah, kinda hard to miss.  He seems to be a bit of a bastard.  What about him?”

“Well, I’ll tell you straight out, I’ve been sent here to find you by Crowley, you know him?”

“King of Hell right?  Wasn’t he working with Castiel?  I swear you grownups are worse than kids arguing over a toy sometimes.”

“Heh, too right. You do know more than I’d thought. Yes, Crowley was working with Castiel, but he breached their agreement, and Crowley wants to ask you for a little help in reigning in the new god in town.  He’s getting a little out of hand and it is upsetting the balance of Heaven and Hell.”

“What can I do about it, and why would I want to do it for Crowley?”

“Well, from what I’ve been told, you can do anything, right?  And I’d think you’d want to make sure that the world keeps on going like it is now.  What Castiel is doing is going to change everything, and there isn’t much time left.”

Jesse sighs, “Well, since you found me, I guess I can help.  I’ve already felt what he’s been changing, and I can tell it isn’t good.  As long as Crowley will promise to leave me completely alone afterwards.”

Bela grins widely with a bit too much satisfaction “Shouldn’t be a problem, shall we then?”

“Where we off to?”

“We need a bit more help, we’re going to see some people you already know, remember Sam and Dean Winchester?”

“Duh, Of course I do, they’re the ones who told me the truth, the whole truth about me and what I am.  And they told me why Castiel was trying to kill me.  Sam saved all of us from the Apocalypse didn’t he?”

Bela looks a bit stricken for a moment, answering softly, “Yeah, that he did Jesse, that he did.”

“So, what do we need them for anyways?”

“Well, you’ll remember that they were good friends with Castiel.  The way Crowley has it worked out, they’re the only people who have a chance at communicating with him in his current form.  You and I have our work cut out for us to convince Sam and Dean to help us.  Seems they’re calling themselves “retired” at the moment.  Apparently Sam’s a bit of a basket case since he came back all the way from the Cage.  And Dean is certain to be in protection mode.  I think they’ll listen to you though.”

Jesse stands up, shaking the sand off his towel, and slinging it around his shoulders, “Alright, I get it, who’s moving us to them, you or me?”

“Why don’t you do it, yeah? I’m kind of new at this moving around business, and I don’t know if I can manage both of us quite yet.” She stands up gracefully and reaches out her hand to him.

Jesse smiles up at her and takes her hand firmly in both of his, closes his eyes, thinks of Sam and Dean, both so tall, and strong, and full of love for each other, more than he’d ever seen his parents show one another. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“But Dean, I really want to help you this time, c’mon she’s my home as much as she’s yours, and I want to learn how to fix her.” Sam pleaded as Dean strode away leaving him alone up on Bobby’s porch. 

“Just leave it Sam, it’ll go faster if I just do it myself.” came the growled reply.    Dean really wanted out of the house for a while, just to be away from the pressure and the worry and to get his baby fixed back up.

“I think if you just want some alone time, that’s fine, you should just say so, and I’ll go for a walk or something. But, I really do want to learn how to do this stuff. I want you to teach me Dean.  C’mon dude, I’m kinda bored here, Bobby and I are out of books to look in for solutions, he’s made a trip out to the post office to pick up some new ones that have just come in. I’m just so tired of being cooped up in here all day.”

“Fine whatever, come be my assistant then.  But the first whining or complaining I hear and you’re outta here, got me?” grumped Dean, not sure why he’s being so grumpy, but secretly happy that Sam wants to work with him.

After working steadily together for an hour to straighten out some of the twisted sheet metal on the Impala, they take a beer break.  They sit at the parts covered workbench, feeling the cooling breeze on their slightly sweaty necks.   Sam takes off his over shirt, leaving just a grey wife beater tank.

“Hey, um, thanks for letting me help, I just didn’t want to hang out in the house all by myself today.”

“No problem Sammy, you’re actually getting pretty good at levering some of that metal back into shape.  Think you want to keep helping?  Or are you getting too tired?  I’m worrying about you doing too much too soon after all that reintegration business.”

“Nope, not feeling tired at all. God why does beer always taste so much better when you’ve been working on something physically hard?”

“Yeah I s’pose it does at that.  Guess you’re not tired since you’re so buffed up now, huh **_little_** brother?”

“Hah, glad you finally noticed **_big_** brother, about time.”

“What, you were waiting for me to say something about all the extra muscles you’ve got now bitch?” Dean scoffs.

“Yeah, I kinda was, jerk.  Given all the extra eyeballing you’ve been giving me lately. Seemed like it might have something to do with it, that’s all.”

Dean blushes a little and ducks his head, looking away suddenly, embarrassed that his brother noticed him noticing.  “Um, sorry about that, didn’t think I was being so obvious.  It’s just that you’re supposed to be my **_little_** brother, you know, scrawny bean pole nerdy guy, and now you’re just so, well, you’re just so damned big, I’m not used to it I s’pose.”

“Do you like it?” Sam asks quietly.

Dean looks up sharply, meeting Sam’s eyes, full of unasked questions, “Yeah Sam, yeah I do, it um, it looks really good on you I guess.”

“Thanks, I’m glad you like me this way. Was hoping you’d notice.”

“How do you mean?” Dean asks, really confused about what his brother means by this.

Sam takes a deep breath and goes for it, figuring he might as well tell him,  “Well you’ve been so worried about my mind ever since Death gave me back my soul, and Cas took down my wall, I wasn’t sure if you’d paid any attention to how my body had changed while we were apart.  When I was soul-less me, I guess I spent all my spare time working out, since I didn’t have you to hang around with watching movies and drinking beer.  From what I can remember now, it wasn’t an aesthetic choice, but one of practicality and being in the best shape a hunter could be.” He gets a little quieter,” I guess I thought maybe you didn’t like how big I was now.”

Dean leans over and puts his hand on Sam’s closest bicep, rubbing it up to his shoulder and squeezing gently, “Like I said you look good, really strong and capable, like you’ve finally come into your own.”  Dean smiles at him then, so strangely, Sam isn’t sure what the smile means as he hasn’t seen it on his brother’s face before.  After knowing someone so closely for so long this surprises him, his eyes widen a bit and he smiles back, trying to mirror the level of sudden heat he sees in his brother’s eyes.  Dean’s eyes widen in response, his hand tightening on Sam’s shoulder and then he tentatively caresses his way up his neck, knowing this is way too much touching, not something they usually do with each other, but he’s just caught up in talking with Sam like this and Sam’s not objecting.

“I’m glad soul-less you took such good care of your body until we got you all the way back in there.”  Dean’s hand now caressing Sam’s cheek, Sam is mesmerized by all this unexpected caring touching and emotion from his brother that he can’t respond. 

“Sam, I’m sorry it took so long for me to figure everything out.  At first I was just so amazed that you were even alive, and then once we figured out what you were missing it took so long.  Too long.  Christ, I’m just so glad you’re all back together Sammy, you have no idea how much.”  Dean smiles and looks at him, eyes shining with sudden unshed tears.

Sam presses his cheek harder into Dean’s hand and places his hand gently down on Dean’s shoulder, squeezing and rubbing back and forth soothingly.  Sam figures since Dean is touching and holding him, he can do it too, it seems like he needs it, hell they both do, who ever touches them now anyways? “Hey, its okay, it took as long as it took.   I can’t complain about anything.  Not after what you did to get my soul back for me.  Did I ever thank you for that by the way?  For the whole thing with Death and all? Because Dean, when I think about it, well, man it just reminds me of what we’ll do for each other, how far we’ll go.  Remember how you said once that it scared you?”  Dean’s hand falls from Sam’s cheek onto his shoulder, so that now both of his hands are on Sam’s shoulders.  He rubs them over onto Sam’s upper back, realizing this is nearing hug status, doing it anyways and looking his brother right in the eyes. 

Dean steadies himself, breathing in deeply, knowing that what he’s about to say is maybe going to change everything, but he needs to say it anyways, to have Sam know it, to take the risk of screwing them up even more than they already are.  Surprised at himself for wanting to voice his feelings, he gives into it because of the look he sees on Sam’s face, the one that he only catches when Sam doesn’t know he’s looking, “Yeah Sammy I remember, sure I do, and yeah it still scares me, but for me there’s no doubt or question that l’ll do anything for you.  You know that don’t you?”  He searches Sam’s face, and Sam nods, smiling bigger and bigger, until his dimples appear. 

Dean takes another deep breath, “Man, I can’t even believe I’m saying this, and you better not give me any shit for it, well hell, Sam you’re everything to me, I can’t think of any other way to put it.  And after all that’s happened, I guess I’m just, well, I’m just wanting you to know that now.”  Dean’s voice is almost whispering at the end, but his eyes flash once again with that heat and intensity, daring Sam to give him trouble about spilling open his heart.

Sam is too overcome to speak, so he impulsively puts his arms around Dean’s waist and lifts him up from his seat into a tight hug, Dean’s hands automatically curling around Sam’s neck, going up into his hair at the nape, pulling his head closer to him, just slightly.  Sam looks down at Dean’s upturned face, searching his eyes for an okay to go ahead, to cross that line they’ve danced around for so much of their lives.  Bodies aligned together, so tightly, now their faces come closer, Dean can feel Sam’s warm beer breath across his cheek, and hear him whisper “Dean, God, Dean, thank you, thank you for getting me back. You’re my everything too.  Always have been.”

 Dean blinks away sudden tears, closes his eyes and savors the feeling of being held like this, and when he opens his eyes, there’s Sam, about to kiss him, oh how he’s wanted this, always denied it to himself, never let himself think of it more than fleetingly and here it is, finally, or just in time depending on how you looked at it. He licks his lips and leans up the final fraction of an inch and brings their lips together.  Warmth, yes.  A little moisture sliding them easily across each other.  His tongue coming out to lick across the seam of Sam’s pressed mouth, which opens with no hesitation, welcoming  him in, with heat and texture and oh Jesus,  the taste.  Finally the taste of Sam, not how he’s imagined it, and yes, yes he had imagined it, many times.  This was better, miles better because it was real and it was happening now.

Dean tears himself away from the kiss, surprised to find himself breathless. Kissed breathless by Sam.  He looks up into his brother’s familiar face, searching his eyes, finding all that love and devotion and want he’s always felt reflected right back at him.  “Sam, what are we doing?” he asks a bit desperately.

“Hell, I don’t know, but it feels right, doesn’t it? Better than anything.”  Sam doesn’t wait for an answer, just brings their bodies closer together, pushing Dean up against the workbench, grinding up against him, both feeling their hardness aligning just so.  They gasp at the same time with the unexpected jolt of pleasure.  Dean pushes up against him in a rocking slow rhythm, leaning back up for another kiss.

“Want this Sam.  God help me, want it so bad.”  Dean manages to choke out against Sam’s lips in a hoarse whisper.

Sam knocks their foreheads together, locking eyes with Dean, “Me too, can’t stop, don’t want to.” He slides his hands down Dean’s chest, pulling up on his shirt to get at his skin underneath, sighing with contentment as his hands span Dean’s waist, thumbing at the skin just under the top of his jeans.  One hand deftly undoes the button and slowly pulls down the zipper, his hand reaching in to envelop Dean in perfect heat and friction.  All Dean finds he can do is to look down and see his brother’s hand on him, huge and so strong and sure, jacking him just right, he can’t help but push forward into his grip.  Soon, too soon he’s on the edge about to go over when he feels Sam grinding into his hipbone and pulsing wetly through his jeans.  That’s all he needs to let loose, hot and wet over Sam’s hand and his own belly.

 As soon as his legs feels like he can support himself, Dean stands apart, quickly turns a dazed Sam so he’s up against the workbench now, undoes his jeans slowly, tugging them down his thighs along with his worn boxers.  Seeing the mess there does something to him.  Sends him right to his knees immediately.  Pushing his face right into the vee of Sam’s legs, scenting him and then tenderly licking up all the sticky drying come.  Sam shudders and inhales sharply as Dean licks closer to his cock.   It’s still so sensitive, but Dean isn’t stopping, licking him up and down like a cherry popsicle.  Sam groans, barely getting the words out “Dean feels so good, too good, don’t stop, please don’t stop.”  Dean looks up at him mischievously, “No way I’m stopping till you come again.”

He goes back to work, getting Sam so wet all over, gently sucking his balls, licking just behind them, until Sam starts to fill and harden again, until he’s jutting right towards Dean’s face.  He takes the head in and swirls his tongue around slowly, starting the suction as he takes Sam in as far as he can, feeling that familiar flutter in his throat.  Sam’s bigger than anyone he’s sucked off before, but Dean gives it his best try, figuring that for now that’s all Sam wants anyways. Setting up a steady rhythm it isn’t long before he has to hold Sam’s hips down, bruising fingertips pressing into soft flesh, he can feel Sam harden impossibly more, hears a change in his breathing, a muttered “fuuck” and Sam’s coming hard down his throat,  almost faster than he can swallow.  He licks him clean once more and presses his face into Sam’s thigh breathing deeply, comforted by the familiar and heady smell of his brother.

“Get up here” Sam says roughly in a fucked-out voice Dean’s never heard before in his life.  Sam yanks him up quickly and presses their bodies back together.  “Thank you” he whispers into Dean’s neck, kissing him softly. 

Dean shivers lightly, too much feeling and sensation threatening to overwhelm him, “Sure am glad Bobby’s in town right now.”

“Dude, why the hell are you even thinking about Bobby?”

“Just, you know, he’d probably be a little more than surprised if he’d looked out his window and seen us.”

“Yeah, I suppose he would but it’s not going to stop me doing this.” Sam skims his hands down Dean’s back, over his ass, dragging his boxers and pants down, and hoists Dean up onto the workbench.  He leans over and dives right into licking Dean’s cock up and down,   Pressing his lips into the fold of skin between his hips and legs, turning into his thigh to bite him, sucking hard, leaving a red darkening mark.  Dean can hear him saying something as the pleasure and pain from the bite hits him.  “what, what’d you say Sammy?”

Sam looks up at him, eyes darkened with desire and more, “Mine. You’re mine.”

Dean looks at him, startled at the bald statement and without thinking too much, just telling the truth, “Yeah, Sammy, yours, always yours.”

Sam goes back to licking him, biting and suckling anywhere and everywhere he can reach, and only stops when he hears Dean gasp.“Shit.”

“What? Did I hurt you?”Sam looks up worriedly.  
“No, um, just, Bela and that kid, Jesse just popped up right over there.  They saw us Sam.”

“Bela, what? How? And Jesse? Where are they?” Sam rests his head against Dean’s thigh, still kneading his ass gently, not wanting to stop no matter what’s happening.

Dean groans, as all the pleasure slows down, “They uhm, they went up into the house.”

Sam looks up at him, slowly licking his lips and grinning, “Want me to stop?”

Dean moans, desperately ignoring how needy he sounds to himself, “Oh god no, don’t you dare stop, they’ve already seen us, please Sammy, need your mouth on me again.”

Sam grins crookedly, “alright then.”

As Dean comes hot and bitter into his mouth not too long after, Sam sighs with contentment, truly not caring about what Bela will have to say about what she’s seen.  He cleans Dean up with soft, adoring licks, and lifts him down off the workbench, rearranging his clothes for him.  Dean feels so boneless and sated; he accepts all this manhandling and takes Sam into a hug holding onto his neck tightly.  “I don’t care what she says, what anyone says, this, what we just did, this is what I want.”

Sam hugs him back, pressing a kiss to his temple, “Me too, I don’t give a damn what that bitch says.”

“Let’s go see what the hell she’s doing here then.”

They walk back to the house, close together, arms brushing, just like always, as if nothing has even changed.  Dean grins to himself and Sam catches it out of the corner of his eye. “What are you grinning like a fool for?”

“Just, you know, this is my just got laid twice grin.”

“Oh, right, guess I should have remembered seeing that one at some point.”

“Well, I hope you’ll be seeing a lot of it in the near future.”

Sam stops walking suddenly, pulling Dean into him, bending down to brush his lips against his ear “anytime, anyplace Dean, I’m yours to have.”

Dean’s eyes widen and close with the pleasure of those words, sighing he turns into Sam, reaching for his mouth again, kissing him deeply, leaning back to smile at him with his true smile, the one only Sam ever gets to see.  “That’s good Sam, real good.”  They come apart reluctantly and walk up the porch, going straight into the kitchen.

~~~~~~~~~

Popping in unexpectedly is always entertaining, but never as much as what Bela gets to see this time.  “So they’ve finally gone and done it. Good for them.  I wonder if Dean is off the market then? What a shame. “She thinks to herself.  Those lads who were so strange around each other back when she’d first met them, she could never figure out their whole story, what was going on between them, it seemed a near thing, especially given the obvious signs of mutual affection they unconsciously showed and she could tell they were closer than any other brothers she’d ever met.  But this was a whole new definition of close, wow.  She covered Jesse’s eyes and they turned and walked loudly and briskly back into Bobby’s house to wait a bit. 

“Well, ahem, that was quite an interesting landing Jesse.  Guess you never do know what you’ll interrupt arriving without calling ahead.  What do you say we go see if there is anything to drink in the house, I’m a little thirsty after all that popping about?”

Jesse is staring around the cluttered kitchen into the living room, eyes widening at the piles of books and papers, “Yeah, that was, pretty unexpected.  I don’t want to talk about it, ‘kay?  So, whose house is this anyways?”

“Friend of the Winchesters, you’ll meet him soon, his name is Bobby Singer.  I used to know him a little too, back when I was human.  He’s a little like their surrogate dad.  He knows a lot about a lot of things, so he’ll be useful for what we’re going to try and do.”

“I’m thirsty, is there anything to drink besides water?”

“Take a look yourself.”  Bela settled into one of the kitchen table chairs, looking out the window towards the salvage yard.

Jesse rustles around in the refrigerator coming up with two store-brand soda, and passed one to Bela as he sat in one of the other chairs.  “We just waiting for them to come inside then?”

“Yeah, I think that’s probably best, especially since we’re here asking a favor.”

The door shut loudly as Sam and Dean entered the kitchen, “What favor would that be?” asked Dean in his best attempt at a commanding voice.

Bela looked up at him and over at Sam, “Well, isn’t it nice to see you two have finally gotten it together.  Pleasure to see you lads again.  You remember Jesse I’m sure.”

“Hey Jesse, how’ve you been.” Sam smiles and reaches out to shake Jesse’s hand. 

“Not too bad, hi Sam.”

“Remember me Jesse?” Dean asks in a nicer voice than he’d used on Bela.

“Yeah, sure, hey Dean.  I guess it’s nice to see you again or something.” Jesse shrugged in that noncommittal pre-teen way that Dean had gotten used to with Ben.

“Well, I think it is great to see you Jesse, we always wondered what had happened to you, we’re glad you’re okay man.”  Dean pats him gently on the shoulder giving it a little squeeze.

Jesse looks at him and smiles tentatively “Yeah, sorry about running away like that, but I was just really freaked out, you know.”

Sam smiles, “Don’t worry about it, we understand, it was a heavy load to drop on you like that.  So where have you been?  What was it in your room? Oh yeah, Australia, did you end up going there?”

“Yeah, I figured I knew a lot about it since I’d just done a big school project on it, that I’d be able to find a good place to hang out.  Pretty much went from beach town to beach town, Tasmania was beautiful, I was loving it there.  Sure do miss my parents though.”

“I bet they miss you too buddy.” Sam gives him an empathetic smile.

“Well, aren’t we all too cute here, are we done with the pleasantries then gentlemen?” Bela smirked.

“Sure, whatever Bela, how about telling us why the hell you’re here.”  Dean practically growled.

“We are here to enlist the help of you Winchesters since you have an “in” with Castiel.  I know that he doesn’t really listen to you or anything.  But I do know that he’ll come occasionally when you all call him.  Especially if you make the necessary offerings and sacrifices first.  What was it, let’s see if I remember this right, you have to pay a whore to stop whoring and go back to school, get some counseling for her daddy issues that sort of thing, and then something to drink and eat like the contents of a good liquor store and perhaps three bags full of White Castle are the usual going rate you end up paying.  He doesn’t always come, but sometimes he decides to put in an appearance.”

Dean and Sam look at each other, barely hiding their surprise.  “Yeah, that’s about how it goes.  Why would you want to contact Cas?  You do know he’s gone a little what would you call it, mental?”

“Of course I know that he’s barking, that’s the main reason I’m here.  Crowley sent me.  He asked me to find Jesse first and then to come see you two, what did he call you, “denim-wrapped nightmares”.  Bela giggled.

“Crowley, of course, who else. Well what does he want?  He got pretty screwed over by Cas, is this some sort of revenge plot?”

“Nothing of the sort, all about evening back up the scales, everything’s gone too out of whack and the stability of the world is in jeopardy.”

“And this is our problem because?”

“Because world-saving is sort of your gig, right?  And you know the guy, at least what he was before he went wrong.”

“Why would we want to help Crowley, maybe an unbalanced world in the favor of Heaven over Hell would be better for humans.”

“Doesn’t quite work like that, up here in the real world everything will be torn apart by the imbalance that’s getting worse every day.  The way Crowley described it, to humans it will seem that reality is slowly tearing itself apart, until there will be nothing left.”

Sam and Dean stare at each other, not bothering to hide their surprised and concerned expressions.  “Let us have a little second here to discuss, would you mind?”  They go upstairs to their room, sitting as close together as possible on one of the twin beds, instinctively twining their hands together.

Of course, the Winchesters don’t trust Bela one bit more than they did the last time they saw her.  Which is to say they don’t trust her at all.  But they know they like their chances of stopping Cas with Jesse on their side, that kid has the most mojo of anyone they’ve ever encountered, except for the angels.  And he seemed like a good kid too when they’d first met him, but how he’s handled these last couple years on his own is anyone’s guess and he isn’t talking about it yet.

At least the reason for Crowley sending Bela on this mission makes a lot of sense to Sam and Dean.  Which causes Sam to suspiciously question it, maybe more than he should, but still, Crowley is such a slippery bastard.  And over the years, the two people who have tricked Dean and Sam the most are Bela and Crowley.  According to Bela, Crowley figures to re-set everything back to normal before Purgatory was breached which will make it all easier for him to keep on ruling in Hell.  Sure he won’t be as powerful as he’d planned when he was scheming with Cas to have half of Purgatory’s soul power, but it will be so much less uncertain an atmosphere to operate in, knowing that the unpredictable Godlet that Castiel has turned himself into is not there to worry about any more.  Sam and Dean have found no other avenue to be able to get ahead of Cas, Bobby hasn’t been able to turn anything else up either. 

“Guess we’ve got no choice.” Sam concludes, a bit sadly, feeling a lot of apprehension about working with demons again.

“Seems that way.  We owe it to Cas to try, for old time’s sake or something.  He wouldn’t be happy about what GodCas is doing to the world.”  Dean replies, trying to sound as upbeat as he can.  They stand up and let themselves have a few minutes to embrace before heading back downstairs.

 “Guess we’ll have to do it, even though we don’t trust you or Crowley, Bela.  But if Jesse’s on board than that’s good enough for us.”  Dean looks over at Jesse and smiles as genuinely as he can.  Jesse smiles back and nods.

So the main plan they hatch out with Bela and Jesse is for Dean to summon Cas, and have Jesse freeze him and then pull out the Purgatory souls and put them back where they belong.  Dean suggests turning him back into an action figure temporarily since they know Jesse can do that.  But whether he’ll be able to even affect GodCas in the same way, now that he’s filled with all the extra soul power is one of the known unknowns you have to deal with when you go into battle. 

“That’s our M.O. isn’t it Sammy, preparing for battle as much as we can, and then just winging it the rest of the way.” Grins Dean.

“Hey seems to work for us, at least most of the time.” Sam grins back.

“Do you idjits think you can invite just anyone into my house?” Bobby interrupts, slamming the kitchen door.

“Hey, um Bobby, you remember Bela right?  And this is Jesse Turner, we told you all about him, he’s just come all the way from Tasmania to see us.” Dean says placatingly, hoping Bobby’s not really too mad about them being there.

“Pleasure to see you again Bobby, let me fill you in on why I’m here.”  Bela links her arm with Bobby’s pulling him into the living room, pointedly avoiding the devil’s trap painted on the ceiling.

Dean looks to see that they’ve gotten out of earshot, and leans over to whisper to Jesse, “hey Jesse, now that we’re alone, are you really okay with all this?” 

Jesse looks at him with big eyes, “Yeah Dean, this is what we need to do.  I’ve gotten a lot of extra powers since you last saw me and one thing I know is that things are getting really out of whack.  I can sense it, can’t explain it to you, but it’s not a good thing.  I know we shouldn’t trust Bela or Crowley, but maybe between us all we can figure something out.”

Sam raises his eyebrows in surprise, all this coming from the still quite small boy, “Jesse, we **_trust you._** You were able to step away from all that power and not get pulled into the angel demon war.  Just doing that is amazing, especially since you were so young.”

Looking up at Sam in amazement and some awe even, Jesse says “Sam, you’re the amazing one, you saved the whole world.”

A bark of laughter escapes Dean, “See Sammy, it’s just like I keep telling you!  Thanks Jesse, maybe he’ll listen to someone else if they tell him enough times.”

Bobby and Bela re-enter the kitchen, Bobby scowling at Dean, “what’s all the laughing for, this is serious.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, just, aw, never mind.”  Dean grumps, hating to be interrupted when he’s getting to tease Sam.

“So Bobby has some ideas to add to what we’ve already planned on trying, one of them involves Jesse learning a spell, so you two get that going, I’m going to talk with Sam and Dean for a bit.”  Bela dismisses Bobby and Jesse, Bobby rolls his eyes and steers Jesse into the living room, grabbing a big book off of one of the bookcases.

“Bela, Bela, Bela, so how was Hell?” asks Dean, voice laced with sarcasm and disgust.

“Just lovely Dean, as both of you would know, thanks ever so much for asking.  Now down to it, lads, I know you don’t trust me, and I don’t blame you, but Crowley has me doing this on pain of Hell’s worst torment if I don’t succeed, so you can count on me not wanting to screw up and endure that again.”  She shivers at the thought. “Just know that if you need to ask something, I’m going to tell you the truth now, I’ve changed believe it or not.”

“Sure you have sweetheart, just like everyone that goes to Hell does.  Fine Bela, we trust you as far as we can throw you, which Sam here could probably manage a pretty far distance now.  Just know that if you fuck with us, we’ll find a way to end you, permanently.”

“Fine Dean, you do that.  Now let’s talk about how we get things ready to call upon Castiel.”

Sam stands up abruptly from the table, patting Dean on the shoulder,”you don’t need me for this part, do you? I’m getting too tired, going up to take a nap for a bit.”

Dean rests his hand on Sam’s for a second, just to feel him, concernedly looking up into his tired face.  “Okay Sammy, I’ll come get you when dinners’ on.”

Sam slowly walks up the stairs, disappearing from view, Dean tracking every quiet footstep until he can’t see his brother anymore.  “It was hard, yeah?  Being without him all that time?” Bela asks softly.

“Yeah, harder than anything I’ve ever done.  What do you care?” Dean sneers at her.

“Dean, I’m a demon, not an inhuman monster, well maybe to you I am, but I still have some feelings, and now I have the extra demon mind-reading skills, so I can see right into your memories.  I’ll admit that I’m impressed that you’re both still standing.  And I too appreciate Sam’s saving of the world.”

They spend the next couple days preparing to call on Castiel, and for what they’ll do if and when he shows up.  Jesse practices the spell work over and over again with Bobby until he can do it perfectly.  Sam cooks dinners with way too many vegetables for Dean’s taste, but usually he cleans his plate anyways with only a little complaining.  Bela orders them all around and generally is the stuck-up bitch they remember so fondly.  Sam and Dean are constantly going off together on short trips for “supplies” in the now-fixed Impala, but otherwise keeping their hands off each other in front of everyone else to Bobby’s great relief.

Late one night, after everyone else has given up on finishing the bottle of Hunter’s Helper; Bela tries to seduce Dean who completely rebuffs her. Her reminders of how they’d agree to have “angry sex” at one point are laughed off by Dean who is just no longer interested in anyone but Sam.

 “I told you not to objectify me, remember? Besides one Winchester screwing a demon is one too many.”  He tries to just blow it off, hoping she’ll drop it.

 “Well, you can’t blame me for asking, right?  You know, I could make you do me.”  She says with a barely constrained much more demonic sounding voice than she uses normally.

“Naah, you won’t, you’re still too much of a lady Bela.  I know I’m still a fine specimen of manhood and all, but you’ve figured out by now that I’m taken. Besides you need me to cooperate for your plan to work, Cas won’t come if anyone else calls him but me.”

“Well, a girl can try.” She smirks at him.

“True, but a guy can say no sometimes too.”  He returns the smirk right back at her.  
~~~~~~~~~~~

Night before the big plan goes down, Dean and Sam sit on the Impala out in Bobby’s yard, drinking beer and looking up at the stars.  They’re huddled pretty close together, sharing a little body heat while they try to relax before the day they’re dreading arrives tomorrow.

“Bela tried to get me to fuck her.” Dean chuckles to himself remembering her face when he’d turned her down.

“Uh, what happened?” Sam asks a little hesitantly, not sure if he wants to know what happened, this thing between them is so new.  They haven’t talked about monogamy or anything yet.  How would he bring up something like that with his brother anyways?

“I told her no, hell no. One Winchester screwing a demon is one too many. She wasn’t too happy about it though, threatened to make me do her. But then I reminded her about the plan and how she needs me to make it work and she backed off.”

“Um, that’s good, I’m glad nothing happened” Sam tries to keep the jealousy surging through him out of his voice, but Dean knows him too well.

“Sam, you know I wouldn’t have done anything with her right?  Now that we’re, whatever we are, I’m not looking to anyone else for that.”

“What the great Dean Winchester is finally off the playing field?” Sam teases with his jealousy quickly turned into a satisfied glee.

“Yeah, I suppose.  Haven’t been like that in a long time anyways, in case you hadn’t noticed.”  Sam doesn’t say anything in response, just nods.

Dean entwines his fingers with Sam’s, resting them on his thigh, looks up at Sam, catching his eye.  “Don’t want anyone but you anyways Sam, never really did, not like this.”

Sam’s eyes widen in surprise at this confession, he’s liking this open, vulnerable Dean, feels like he’s been waiting years and years to get to see this side of him again.  “Same here Dean, took us long enough to figure it out didn’t it?” 

Dean snorts a quick laugh, “That’s the god-damned truth, glad we finally did though.”  He leans in to kiss Sam gently and thoroughly.  Sam melts into him, feeling so warm and filled up with joy at being with Dean like this, it’s such a gift, he can hardly believe it’s real. 

“This is going to sound really stupid probably, but I’ve got to try and tell you something, before tomorrow goes down, just in case, can you just listen for a second?”  Sam’s questioning eyes search Dean’s, “Sure Sam, of course, I’m all ears.”  He caresses Sam’s neck and shoulders wanting more contact and heat between them, but understanding instinctively that Sam’s got something important to get out, hoping he isn’t going to tell him he doesn’t want to be with him or something awful like that.

“You know, that first night after Cas took the wall down, when I was struggling within my mind? Well, first I had to overcome the soul-less me, which wasn’t easy, but he was an asshole and I took him out eventually.  But then Hell-me told me to stay in there and go find Jess and just be happy in my mind, he couldn’t understand why I’d want to come back out and try and deal with all the memories of Hell, he didn’t think I’d be strong enough to survive it.  But I told him, that he knew me, he knew why, that I couldn’t leave you out here all alone.  It wasn’t really a decision; it was obvious to me what I needed to do, where I needed to be.  So, I’m here now, and yeah I’m struggling with the Hell memories, shit, you know all about that, every damned night practically, but it’s easy because you’re here.  And now that we’re together. “He squeezed Dean’s hand tighter “Well, now that we’re together I know even more that I made the right choice to come back.  I’m trying to say it was more than worth the risk, you’re worth it, we’re worth it.”

Dean isn’t sure what the hell to say to all that, he’s kind of stunned at the weight of this information that Sam’s just shared with him.  But he knows he has to respond somehow.  He turns into Sam, leans in and kisses him gently once again.  “Sam, god, Sammy, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to thank you enough.  That you did that for me, for us.  You’re amazing, you’re the strongest person I’ve ever known.  I swear though, if we get through this thing with Cas tomorrow, I’m going to spend our whole lives making sure it was all worth it.  That’s going to be my new goal in life, to make sure this, what third or fourth chance we’ve got, is gonna be different.  Whatever it takes we’re going to be as happy as we can, make our own choices, finally do what we want.”

Sam smiles broadly, white teeth flashing in the dark, dimples clearly visible and caresses Dean’s face with both hands.  “Sounds real good to me Dean.”  He leans in and kisses him with all the passion he’s been holding back this time, not sure where this is going since they’re out in Bobby’s yard who knows who’s watching them.  He finds he doesn’t care too much and continues exploring Dean’s hot and mobile mouth, gasping with the joy of this new feeling of finally getting to do this.  After all these years of wanting and holding back, and lying to himself, here they are bared and exposed to each other and it’s just exhilarating.  A rush of feeling makes him deepen the kiss even further, moaning into Dean’s mouth unashamedly.

Dean finally breaks it off, panting a little with all of the pent-up emotion he’s feeling, “Shit, Sam,ahh, that’s too damned good, why the hell did we wait so long to do this?”

Sam answers him panting out heatedly into his neck, “Dean, too much talking, fucking kiss me some more.” They crash back together, moaning almost in tune, hands everywhere, touching, grasping, it’s wild how fast the desire ramps up between them.  Sam pulls Dean up and over into his lap, so Dean’s legs are gripping his hips.  They gasp as their groins align together just perfectly.  Dean gasping a bit more because he’s surprised at being manhandled like that, and by how much he likes it.  Well, that’s yet another pleasant discovery he tucks away in his mind for later.  They grind and press, finding a rhythm, the friction just enough of a tease to get them spiraling up towards the edge.  Sam gets his hand between them and squeezes Dean gently, adding more friction.  All of a sudden Dean’s motion speeds up and he bends forward crushing into Sam, Sam strokes him through his jeans as he finishes. 

Dean blinks up out of the haze and smiles with satisfaction and surprise.  “Hell Sam, I haven’t come in my jeans since I was a kid. Come on now your turn.” He pushes Sam’s hand out of the way and begins stroking and kneading his way up and down Sam’s too-hard length, kissing and biting and sucking his way up and down Sam’s neck, Sam still grinding and pumping his hips, his rhythm soon stutters and he groans loudly into Dean’s ear as he comes, “Deean, ahhh, so good.”  They pant against each other for awhile, just holding it all together, feeling the cooling mess in their boxers, hearts slowing down, rough cheeks scraping against each others.  “Sam, I’m not gonna lie, this is almost too much.”

“What do you mean?” Sam sits up, looking at him worriedly.

Dean sees the look on Sam’s face and lets loose with one of his big laughs, eyes crinkled with amusement, holding Sam’s face between his hands gently. “Dude, not like that, bad too much, like too good, too good to be true.  You get that right?”

Relieved, Sam smiles and kisses him deeply and thoroughly, pulling back a bit to whisper “Definitely, message received, too good, but true.  Nothin’ but nothin’ truer than this.”  That small statement moves Dean so much he pulls him into an embrace that he’s been saving up for when he finally felt that Sam had gotten it, what this means to him,  “no kidding Sam, no kidding.”

Sam finally pulls back from the tight hold Dean has on him, “guess we’d better get back in there, they’re probably wondering where we’ve been.  Uh, you think Bobby will figure it out? You know, you and me? “

“Yeah, he probably will, guy’s too smart for his own good sometimes.  Don’t know that I care too much what he thinks, not going to change how I feel.  Hopefully he’ll keep it to himself and not give us a hard time about it.”

“Oh, um Dean, I have something for you.” Sam digs in his pocket and places something in Dean’s hand.  Without looking Dean can tell just by the weight and sharpness of it what the object is.  His eyes fill with happy tears as he puts the amulet back around his neck where it belongs.  “Thanks Sam.  I’m….I’m just so damned sorry I ever threw it away in the first place.  Thanks for never giving up on me.  It will remind me of that every day.”   
“You’re welcome Dean, I’m just glad that we’re finally back to where you’d even have wanted it back from me.”

They both reach up to grab it at the same time, hands closing over each other’s and the amulet.  “Guess I ought to find something like this for you to wear all the time, huh Sam?”

Sam just practically lights up at the idea, and says as calmly as he can manage, “I’d really love that Dean, whatever you pick, I’ll wear it.”  They come back together for one last searing kiss and then slide off the Impala together.

They clean up the best they can with some napkins from the Impala’s glove box, finish off their beers, and go back inside where Bela looks up with a lascivious grin from one of the desk chairs.  “Well lads, glad you’ve got that taken care of, feeling ready for tomorrow then?”

Dean makes his ‘ha-ha’ face at her, “yeah we’re ready I guess, how about you all?” 

Bobby clears his throat, and tries not to blush, because yeah of course he’s figured it out already, what with their flushed red faces, slightly mussed hair and clear wet spots on the front of their rumpled jeans.  “You idjits need to get some rest tonight; all of us do, and keep down the noise wouldya?”  His eyes do widen in surprise when he notices the amulet around Dean’s neck again.

“Sure Bobby, will do.” Sam looks Bobby steadily in the eye as if to ask if this ok or not, he just sees the usual fond exasperation that Bobby seems to always have on his face.  Sam goes over to Jesse who is already deeply asleep on the couch, tucking up the blanket around him, smoothing his hair gently, and looking down at him fondly.  “Guess he’s got a head start on us. See you in the morning.”

“Hey you think that when you pray for Cas to come he’ll show up right away this time?” Bobby asks quietly, deep concern coloring his voice.

“Oh who the hell knows, I just hope this crazy thing works.  ‘night Bobby.”  Dean waves a little and tries to meet Bobby’s eyes as steadily as he can.  Bobby just smiles back at him, shakes his head and mutters something about finally and idjits under his breath.

They’re all up early in the morning, eating a breakfast that Sam and Jesse cook, eggs, bacon, potatoes all in one big mix-up.  The kitchen table is quiet, just yummy sounds mostly from Dean.  Everyone is a little apprehensive for what’s to come.  Bela goes over the plan one last time with them all there.   It’s then time, they all assemble in the living room, Jesse looks pretty nervous, so Sam and Dean stand on either side of him, each with one hand on his shoulders.  He looks up at them with so much trust in his eyes, but he can sense their worry “this is going to work guys, really, you don’t need to worry.”  They both grin at him.  Jesse starts performing the spell Bobby taught him, as Dean prays to Castiel for what could be the last time.  “Cas, I need to talk to you, please, can you wing it down here?” he proclaims with a small waver in his voice that only Sam notices.

  Bela and Bobby stand behind the desk with the grounding elements of the spell that Jesse is still casting, adding arcane herbs and other unmentionables into a flaming brazier as he goes through all the complicated words and motions.   Dean and Sam stand at the ready with their probably useless angel blades hidden in their jacket sleeves.  There’s a short wait which begins to fill with tension and then that comes that familiar fluttering sound of wings.  There’s Cas, but not their friend Cas, this is GodCas, the one who wants to be worshipped and obeyed.  Dean and Sam bow at the waist, their compromise to kneeling.  “It has been a long time since you’ve called on me.  What is it Dean?” GodCas asks with a powerful ringing voice.

Dean holds out the grease-stained White Castle bag to him in offering, “Uh, yeah hey Cas, thanks for coming so quickly this time. I’ve got a question for you, all those souls you took in, are they all used up yet?”

Castiel takes the proffered bag without acknowledging it, “No Dean, of course not, I’m conserving them, for when I’ll need them.”

“Oh. Well, that’s good.”  Dean makes the hand signal that they worked out and Jesse begins his attempt to freeze GodCas.  Turning him into a teeny action figure doesn’t work this time, but he’s able to manage a life-size one.  “Don’t have long, finish it, now.” Jesse barely squeaks out to Bela.  She completes the spell which has opened a one way passage up to Purgatory with a sucking wet sound.  Reality to the humans in the room seems to bend and shiver around it, just over the fireplace.  Jesse makes a grabbing pulling motion with both of his hands towards GodCas, it’s like he’s got hold of an invisible rope, pulling hand over hand slowly. Finally there’s a strange tearing sound and Jesse stumbles backwards.  Sam catches him and holds him upright.  Jesse takes a deep breath, sets his shoulders and gathers up the invisible burden straining to carry it towards the bending Purgatory passage.  “Not open for much longer Jesse, hurry.” Shouts out Bobby.

Just then, they hear a small pop and Crowley appears between Jesse and the Purgatory passage.  “I’ll just take those off your hands, shall I?” and reaches out to take the souls out of Jesse’s arms.  Out of seemingly nowhere Cas throws himself in between them just as the souls are being transferred, shouting out “No, you can’t!”  He’s sucked into the Purgatory passage along with the now glowing brilliant bundle of souls wrapped and tied all around him; he disappears to their view as the opening closes up with the same wet sucking sound.

“What just happened? Did Cas just die or something making sure the souls got put back?” Dean yells to the room at large.

Bela and Bobby look at each other with real confusion.  Jesse is staring down Crowley, matching expressions of fury on both of their faces.  “You need to leave, I’m feeling real angry now mister.” He snarls up at Crowley.  Raising his eyebrows, Crowley shrugs and makes one of his smarmy twirls “Nice seeing you boys, thanks for the help. Bela let’s go.”  Bela gives them a little wave, looking a little worried and sad too.  They both disappear with two small popping sounds. 

Sam and Dean shake themselves out of their stupor and go to Jesse, rubbing his shoulders.  “Jesse, you okay?” Sam asks urgently.  Jesse just looks up at him, “yeah sure Sam, I’m fine, just a little tired, we got any orange juice, I’m kinda thirsty now.”  Dean laughs, “Dude, you can have all the orange juice you want after what you just pulled off there.”

“I’m really sorry about your friend Dean.”  Jesse slips his arm around Dean’s waist.

“Thanks, I’m sorry you even had to go through that.  But it’s over now right?  Everything’s back in its right place.” Dean tousles Jesse’s hair and pulls him into a half-hug.

“Yeah, the balance is coming back, I can sense it already.”

“Well that’s good at least something worked for once.” Bobby grumps sarcastically as he’s putting out the fire in the brazier on his desk.

Sam and Dean realize that they need to get out of Bobby’s hair now, and that Jesse seems a little out of it to go off on his own just yet.  So they pack up their stuff, say their thanks to Bobby for once again coming through for them and helping them save the world, the usual.  The three of them pile into the Impala and take off with no particular destination in mind, just mostly wanting to be in motion again, like they’re used to.

Driving away from Bobby’s later that day with a mostly sleeping Jesse on the backseat, Sam and Dean find they’re both feeling really sad about Cas until they get a message from Joshua on the Impala’s radio saying Cas is back in Heaven, on double secret probation for a few thousand years, and that he says to tell them thanks. 

“Huh, well, I guess that’s kinda good news then.  I’m glad we at least know what the hell happened to him.” Says Dean, trying to sound nonchalant and flip.

“I’m glad he didn’t die, saving us again.  Do you miss him Dean?” Sam asks, with concern because he can tell Dean is fronting again.

“Yeah, I guess, a little bit, he was a good friend some of the time we knew him.  But then he really wasn’t.  I don’t think I can ever get over what he did to you though.  I couldn’t ever forgive him for letting you walk around soul-less and then taking down your wall like that.  I mean, it all turned out ok, but we didn’t know that it would, and he didn’t either.”

“I’m sorry.”  Sam says quietly, barely audible over the Impala’s engine.

“What do you possibly have to be sorry for now?”  Dean asks with some exasperation.

“That I didn’t come into Lisa’s house that first night I got back.  Maybe this all could have gone differently if I’d just done that.  But you finally had what you wanted, and even soul-less me remembered the promise you’d made me to try and have a normal life.”

Dean pulls the Impala over onto the shoulder abruptly, gravel spraying up wildly.  Viciously yanking off his seatbelt he crashes his way out of the car without a word, stomping off into the scrub brush, gesturing to himself, shoulders locked down and tight.  Sam watches him for a while, wondering if he should go after him or not.  “Jesse, I’m gonna go talk to Dean, you just stay in the car for now, okay?”  Jesse nods sleepily and lays his head back down on the backseat pile of blankets and pillows he’s arranged for himself.

Sam quietly closes his door and walks quickly down through the scrub towards where he thinks Dean is.  He hears him before he sees him.  Harsh, racking sobs like he hasn’t heard since Dean told him about Hell.  Sam hesitates because he’s not sure if he’s wanted there or not.  He must have caused this upset somehow, but he’s really unclear how what he said triggered all this unusual drama from his brother.  Dean sees him though and when Sam sees his stricken face, he can’t help rushing over to gather him up in his arms.  Dean instantly melts against him as the sobs just continue, seeming to get even more intense.  After holding him close for a few minutes, Sam tries to get Dean to look at him, but he turns his head away.  Sam whispers in his ear, caressing his hair gently, rubbing calming circles into his back.  
“Dean, can you tell me what’s wrong?”

Dean’s only response is to shake his head and try and take some deep breaths to slow down his crying.  Finally it ebbs enough that he can fiercely choke out, “Didn’t want that Sam.  Never wanted that.  Just wanted you.  And you were gone. And I promised you, so I had to.”

 Sam’s eyes well up with sudden tears, falling hot onto Dean’s neck, “Oh god Dean, I just, I wanted you to try to be happy, that’s all it was, don’t you believe me?”

 Dean turns in his arms to look up at him, sadness and anger warring on his face, streaked with tears and snot.  “How was I ever going to be happy without you, you dumbass?” 

There isn’t anything  Sam can say to that all he can do is to cry harder, “yeah I know that of course I do, but I thought I wasn’t ever coming back, I was worried you’d kill yourself or drink yourself to death if you didn’t have anyone to go to, to be there for you.” 

Dean’s anger intensifies now, “Well, shit, that’s just great Sam, thanks so much for your faith in me.”

Sam responds heatedly, “Dean that’s not fair, I never”

Dean interrupts, “No! What’s not fair is that I was dying there Sam.  Every damned day a little bit more, and I was going to bring them down with me, because I couldn’t function without you goddamnit, there just wasn’t any point.  Don’t you know that?”

“Hell yes I know that! Of course I do! I went through it, twice remember?” Sam spits back at him.

Dean angrily grits out the words as if he’s spitting out gravel, “So why’d you think it would work for me?”

Shoulders bending and sagging in defeat Sam quietly replies, “Ben, I thought it would be different with him there for you to take care of. “

That stops Dean’s anger in its tracks and he starts crying again, softly this time. “Sam I screwed that kid up so bad, if the memory wipe ever fails, God, he’ll be so messed up, I can’t ever forgive myself for doing that to him.”

“No more, no more Dean, don’t do it to yourself.  You did the best you could.”  Sam gathers him back into an all-encompassing hug.

“Huh, the best I could do, what drinking myself to sleep every night?  Leaving Lisa hanging, when she just wanted as normal a relationship as she could get from me.  I was useless, worse than useless, and you were back all that time and I didn’t even know.”  He shakes his head dejectedly and whispers, “I didn’t even know.”

Sam stills reaches up to hold Dean’s face between his warm hands, asking softly, “How could you have known man, c’mon.”

“I just, I just should have known you were back. I could have found you sooner.” Dean looks up into his eyes desperately.

“Dean, just stop, that’s crazy.  You’re not the one with visions and psychic powers remember, you can’t really think you should have known. Not your fault.  No way.  Blame soul-less me, or Cas, but not yourself.” Sam caresses his cheeks, willing him to accept this.  He sees the moment Dean agrees; his eyes change from desperation to a fathomless adoration and asks softly, “Damn, how do you always know how to do that?”

“Do what?” Sam tilts his head in question.

“Fix me.  Just like that, a few words, you hold my face in your big stupid hands and I’m okay again.”

Sam pats his cheek and pinches him fondly, “just one of my many talents, guess I just know how to handle you after all these years.”

“Handle me, huh, I’ll give you something to handle.” And Dean pulls him into a breath stealing kiss.

Sam breaks away slowly, looking dazed, “I don’t mind handling that, not at all.”  He leans back down for another soft taste of Dean’s mouth, eventually pulling off with real reluctance just to breathe, “I’m never going to get tired of this you ought to know that. Never.”

“You better not.” Dean looks at him sternly and then cracks into a big wide grin.

“Hey Dean, can I ask you something while we’re out here without Jesse? It’s about him, it’s kinda important.”

“Sure, of course, he alright?” Dean asks with a hint of worry in his voice.

“Yes, he’s fine, but, well, I was just thinking that we should invite him to stay with us, at least until he’s out of high school.”  Sam asks, voice filled with hope that Dean will agree.

“Stay with us? What live on the road, getting yanked around like we did? Thought you’d never do that to a kid?” Dean is beyond surprised that Sam would even suggest something like that.

“Not exactly.  I was thinking more like we find ourselves a home base, kinda like Bobby has.  And limit ourselves to more local hunts.   He really needs someone Dean; I think the loneliness isn’t good for him, especially at this age, and with what he’s seen recently.  I just feel like it’d be a good thing for all of us.”  Sam’s urgent tone gets under Dean’s skin immediately, he can tell how important this is to his brother, and thinks back to what he’d promised him last night when they were sitting on the Impala. About taking this chance they’ve got and making the life they want happen.

“We could try it I guess, twelve is definitely an age when you need a father figure.  You think he’d want to stay with us or with Bobby?”  Dean’s skeptical that anyone would want to get more involved in their messed-up thing, but he likes Jesse, a whole lot, and he can tell Sam really does too.

“He got along pretty well with Bobby, but I don’t think there’s as much of a connection there for him.  Probably has to do with how we were the ones who told him the truth and all.  Plus we’ve probably got the cooler car.”

“Dude, damned right we have the cooler car.” Dean scoffs proudly.

“You think it’d be okay with him, since he knows we’re brothers and everything?  We never really talked about it with him around.” Sam has to ask this, he really doesn’t know a thing about kids.  Only Dean has the experience of helping raise a twelve-year old, twice now counting Sam and Ben.

“I don’t really want to explain our sex life to a twelve year old, and he probably doesn’t want to ever even think about it, but yeah, we’d better be clear with him at the start.  That is, if he’s even interested in being with us.  He was on his own for these couple of years, maybe he’d rather just keep doing that.”

“So, you’re okay with the idea of slowing down and sticking in one place for a while.  I think it could be good for us.  I don’t know how much hunting I’ll ever be reliable for anyways.” Sam’s not sure Dean gets that they’re pretty much giving up hunting with this type of decision.

“Yeah, I’m okay with it Sam, as long as you’re there, I’m cool with it. Let’s go ask him.” Dean pulls him down for another slow, deep kiss.

Jesse sees the end of the confrontation from the car, can tell it was a major fight or something, and it worries him deeply, even when he sees them kissing, so he goes to the brothers as they come back up the hill. He pulls them both into a hug, his small arms wrapping as far around their waists as he can manage.  “Are you alright now Dean?” he asks with a tremble in his voice.  Sam and Dean search each other’s faces for what to answer him.  Dean ruffles Jesse’s hair, just like he used to do to Sam when he was this age. “Yeah buddy, I’m better now, Sam helped me. Like he always does.”  Dean beams a smile at Sam that takes his breath away for a second.

“Hey Jesse, we’ve got a question for you, what do you say you come live with us?” Sam asks him, trying to keep the leaping surge of hope out of his voice.

Jesse looks up at them, back and forth between their faces, both men looking down at him so expectantly, “What, live with you, like what a family or something?”

“Yeah, exactly like that, a family.  We’d really like to keep hanging out with you, what do you think?” Dean answers him, smiling widely, those eye crinkles showing how deeply he feels.

Jesse thinks for a split second, crowing “Hells yes!”  He grabs them back into a big hug squeezing as tight as he can manage.  Both Sam and Dean hug him back, and smile at each other, feeling their hearts expanding with the thought that they’re making a family of their own, together.

Sam pulls back and looks down at him a little more seriously, “Jesse, you know how Dean and I are brothers?  Well we love each other too, we’re together, like a couple.  And most people aren’t okay with that, it’s even illegal in a lot of places.  So any where we end up living, it will have to be our family secret and we’ll have to pretend that we aren’t brothers.”

“Duh, I already figured that out.  And yeah, of course I can keep a secret, I don’t really care.  Love is love right?”  Jesse has an unfathomably assessing adult expression, as if he’s weighing whether his words have been truly heard.

“Yeah, buddy, love is love.” Sam grins his most dazzling fond smile at both Dean and Jesse. “Well okay then, where do you think we should pick to live?”

And that starts off the big debate as they walk back up the scrubby hill and get into the Impala.  Because they can go anywhere really, with Jesse’s power, their choices are pretty limitless.  After they’re settled back in their seats, Sam suggests “How about we each say one thing that is a must for you, and that will help us narrow down our choices. Then we’ll do another round too.  I’ll write them down as we go. You go first Jesse.”

“I want to live in a house that’s right on a beach, and its gotta be the Pacific Ocean.”

Dean chimes in next, “I want to stay in the United States.”

“I want to be near a college with a law school.” Sam adds firmly, Dean raising his eyebrows at him in surprise.

“I want to live in a big house with a porch and my own floor to live on, and a basketball hoop.”

“I want to live somewhere it doesn’t rain too much and doesn’t ever snow.” Dean says firmly.  Sam snorts a little, “Dean, you old man you.”  Dean answers with a smile and a shrug, “what, the rough weather isn’t good for my baby.”

“I want to live in an area that’s accepting to gay couples.”  Sam finally contributes.  Dean reaches over to squeeze his hand.

So the discussion goes as they start to narrow down their choices and they finally decide to get a place somewhere on the central coast of California between Santa Cruz and Monterey.  Not too hot, not too cold, not too close to Palo Alto with all those old memories neither Sam nor Dean wants to deal with.  Jesse, who is always reluctant to use his powers, eventually gives in to Dean’s pleading and Sam’s well-considered arguments and fixes it so that they have a nice comfortable home right on the beach in Watsonville. Over the years he’s found that being near beaches is soothing to him, the salt controlling and affecting the half of him that is from demon parentage, and that’s important so that he can stay balanced.  They all remember what happens when Jesse gets upset, and his powers get even a little out of control. 

Sam and Dean make sure to let Jesse know that they’d never have been able to afford even a shack in California on the beach, so he feels pretty good about using his powers to get them set up in a house they can be in for a while to come and with a bank account to support them until they can get some real world jobs.  They drive up to their new place one summer day after a long detour to the Grand Canyon, Yellowstone and Yosemite and unload the small stash of belongings from the Impala.  Jesse races off to check out the beach, leaving Sam and Dean to unlock the front door.

“This is way cooler than I thought it’d be Dean, look at this, all our own, can you believe it?” Sam says, spinning around in the house’s empty living room.

“It really is awesome, never thought it’d happen in a million years. You going to help me mow the lawn and stuff Sam?” Dean asks in as flirty a voice as he can manage through his grin, bumping his shoulder into Sam’s.

“Of course, we get to do the happy homeowner thing now don’t we?  Make nice with the neighbors, all that fun stuff.” Sam threads his fingers in between Dean’s, squeezing gently.

“At least until Jesse goes to college. Just six years, not a problem.” Dean squeezes back.

They head into the house and put a few of their things away.  Sam adding to his already extremely long list of things they need to buy to outfit a home.  Jesse gets the converted attic space, and they get a huge master suite with a deck facing the water and an insanely large bathroom.  Dean’s out on their deck, making sure he can see where Jesse has gotten off to; he’s already found someone to build a large sand castle complex with. 

“So looks like Jesse’s made a friend, think he’ll be down on the beach for a while.”  He turns back to the room, eyes widening when he sees what awaits him. They don’t have a bed yet, just their old sleeping bags zipped together on the floor and a few stolen motel pillows.  And Sam is lying naked on top of them, stroking himself to hardness and giving Dean a look, maybe The Look.  Dean’s not sure since he’s never seen it before on Sam’s face. 

“This our house-warming party?” Dean asks as he starts stripping off his clothes as quickly as he can manage, never taking his eyes off of Sam. 

“Yeah, thought we’d start in here, we’ve got a lot of rooms to christen.”

After too many days in a row spent in motel rooms and tents with Jesse, they haven’t gotten to take much time for themselves, and they’re both eager to try more than just quickly traded hand or blow jobs which is all they’ve shared so far.  Dean notices on top of Sam’s duffle, there’s a large bottle of lube. Quirking his eyebrows “bought the economy size huh Sammy, got some plans you want to share with me?”

“Yeah, I’ve got lots I want to share with you, get down here already.” 

“Why do I always forget how bossy you are?” Dean snarks as he knees his way over to straddle Sam.

“Aww baby, you know you love it.” Sam pulls him down and starts palming his ass.

“Keep doing that and you can be as bossy as you want, but I don’t know about you calling me baby.” Dean groans as Sam nibbles and licks his way up his throat.

“So, how we doing this Dean?  Rock Paper Scissors, or what?” he whispers in his ear.

Dean shrugs, “Honestly Sam, I haven’t done this enough times to know if I even have a preference.”

Sam smiles slowly, “Oh, okay, we’ll experiment, see what works best for us.”

Dean starts blushing, the redness creeping down his chest, struggling to meet Sam’s eyes, “Actually, more honestly, I’ve never, um been on the receiving end, so I have no idea.”

“Oh. Well let’s do it the way you’re used to first, I can’t wait for you to fuck me, it’s all I’ve been thinking about these last couple of weeks.  Then next time, if you want to try I’d love to be your first.”

“My first, you want at this virgin ass huh Sammy?”

“More than I can ever say.”

“Why don’t you show me then?”

“I will do just that. But first, you’ve got some work to do. C’mon get me ready already.” Sam smiles as he hands him the bottle of lube.

Dean groans as Sam spreads his legs so invitingly.

“Go ahead, we don’t have much time till Jesse gets back.”

“Bossy.”

 “Shut me up then.”

Dean does just that, with slicked-up clever fingers, opening up Sam slowly until he’s writhing on three fingers.  Sam can’t say anything coherent, just gives himself over to the pleasure that Dean’s wringing out of him. Dean finally slicks himself up and quickly sheaths himself in Sam, coming to a stop when he’s all the way inside.  Sam’s eyes close in exquisite pain and pleasure.  Finally he opens up his eyes and locks onto Dean’s.  “You’ve got to move now Dean, c’mon fuck me already.”

Dean grins and starts pumping in and out slowly, speeding up as he realizes Sam wants it faster and harder. “Can’t believe we’re doing this Sammy, that you’re letting me.”

Sam answers him by clenching and releasing harder with each stroke and with a string of muttered “All I want Dean, please, don’t stop, please you can’t stop, don’t you ever fucking stop.  Need you Dean, always need you, just you.”

Dean knew he wouldn’t last long, the overwhelming tightness, the exquisite friction and just the idea that it’s Sam, his Sam that is taking him into his body is almost enough, but his words are what send Dean over the edge, all he can say is a groaned out “Saaaammy.” Sam clenches down on him hard as he comes too, hot and wet between their bellies, the sensation of Dean filling him up inside almost too much.  Thrusting a few more times Dean collapses down on Sam. 

“Welcome home Dean.” Sam whispers softly into his ear.

Dean pushes up so he can see Sam’s face, smiles down at him, “I always was at home with you, but this, this is a whole new definition of home.  Not ever going to leave now.”

Sam returns the smile, eyes so full of happiness like Dean hasn’t seen in years, “Not gonna let you.  Just uh, you have to, unfortunately, get off me please.”

Dean pulls out slowly, Sam gasping as he pops past the rim of his now sore and reddened hole.  Dean looks down and sees what he’s done to Sam and can’t stop himself from leaning down to lick him clean, soothing him with his tongue. Sam wriggles and sighs, it almost feels too good.  Dean pauses to growl “mine” possessively, breath ghosting over the sensitive skin, teeth sinking into the soft fold where his leg meets groin, sucking until there’s a darkening red mark.  Sam shivers from the feeling of being marked and hearing his brother finally claim him. He pets softly through Dean’s short hair and whispers “yes yours Dean, yours.”  Dean scrambles back up, a look of bare animal lust on his face and takes Sam’s mouth harshly and completely, forcing Sam to taste their mingled flavors.  “God Sammy, what have you turned me into?”

Sam caresses his face, looking up at him fondly, “My lover?”

“Oh Jesus, really, is that what you’re going to call me?”

 “Well to other people, I thought I’d go with life-partner.”

Dean rolls his eyes to disguise how happy this makes him.  “That what you want me to call you?”

“It’s pretty descriptive don’t you think?”

“I don’t think there’s a word that exists that covers it all.  Except maybe what Ash called us.”

Sam’s eyes widen at this reference, he grabs Dean’s hand and kisses the palm, then leans up to kiss the tattoo over his heart, “That’s just between us, okay?”

“Yeah Sammy, just between us.”  He takes Sam’s hand and kisses the palm and leans down to kiss the tattoo over his heart.   They smile at each other, both happy that all seems to be right in their world for once.

They can hear Jesse moving around downstairs now, so they quickly clean up and get their clothes back on, trying not to giggle too much as they hurry not to get caught.   Dean stops him just as he’s leaving the room, digging in his pocket for something that he places in Sam’s hand.  “Here Sam, I thought this would be a good time to give this to you.”

Sam stills, not wanting to see what Dean’s given him and end this wonderful feeling of anticipation too soon.  He slowly opens his hand and sees a small brass pendant shaped like a stylized, smiling beautiful woman’s head.   “It’s beautiful Dean, thank you.  But what is this?”

“Bobby gave it to me when we were leaving, he said it was the companion to this one. Thought they should be back together” Dean pulls his amulet out of his shirt so they can fit the amulets together; they fit perfectly, interlocking together into a two-faced single head.  “See, they really do suit each other.”

Sam looks down at the gleaming brass amulets lying locked together in Dean’s palm and feels a warm glow begin to heat up in his chest and says softly, “Just like us.”  Dean puts the cord around Sam’s neck and adjusts it so it sits right, just below his collarbone.  He pats Sam’s chest, “Yup, just like us.”

Sam’s filled up with too much joy now and he can’t help himself, doesn’t even try to stop the swell of feeling overwhelming him, he lifts Dean up into his arms, “God I love you Dean.”

Dean practically squeaks in surprise at being grabbed like this but answers him right away and with just as much feeling, “Love you too Sammy.”

They hear more noise from Jesse downstairs, so they reluctantly break apart.  They walk down together, and quickly find Jesse searching through all the empty cupboards in the kitchen.

“Jesse, hey, how was the beach?”

“Pretty cool, I’m so hungry, what do we have to eat?”

“Whole lotta nothin’, want to head to the store with me?  Sam’s got a huge-ass list for us.”

“Can we get stuff for making s’mores tonight? There’s a fire pit out there, just past the back deck.”

“Sure of course, sounds tasty.  Sam, add it to the list I guess.”  Sam scribbles something down and hands the paper to Dean.

“See you two in a little while.”  Sam hugs Jesse and leans over and quickly kisses Dean. 

“Ewww, c’mon you guys, total PDA foul.”  Jesse protests, as he’s squished between them.

“Awww, can it small fry. That’s just how we old folks roll.” Dean chuckles as they walk out together.

Sam stands in the front window and watches them get into the Impala and take off together, Jesse so happy to finally get to be riding up in the front passenger seat.  He shakes his head at himself for how sappy he feels inside. That’s his family right there he grins to himself.  He holds the new amulet in his hand, feeling it warm up immediately.  After all that’s happened to them, he finds himself so grateful that they get a chance at normal, at least normal for them.  He lets himself hope that maybe this is their reward for everything they’ve gone through.

Later that night Dean calls Bobby to tell him where they’ve finally settled down.  He’s a little skeptical about the living with Jesse thing, not sure that the boys will know what they’re doing with such a powerful thing such as the anti-Christ.  “Bobby, he’s not a goddamn monster, he’s a kid.  And a pretty well-adjusted, smart and funny one at that.  We’re lucky he’s chosen to stay with us.” Dean scolds him gently.

“I guess, just you guys keep an eye on him, okay?”  Bobby tries to keep most of the worry and concern out of his voice.

“Sure of course, that’s the point, and hey, um there’s something I need to ask you.”

“What’s up?”  Bobby asks, a little warily, because when a Winchester asks something of him, well it isn’t always such a good thing.

“Would it be okay if I used your last name on my new set of I.D.s?  Sam needs to keep Winchester since he’s going back to school and I guess getting the transcripts is a bitch if you have a name change.  This will probably be my last set, since we’re out of the hunting gig for the foreseeable future.” Dean sounds so hopeful, he can’t hide how much it will mean to him if Bobby will say yes.

Bobby’s silent for a moment, thinking of what exactly Dean is asking him here, what it implies if he says yes.  He knows that Sam and Dean are a couple or whatever now, and he really doesn’t care too much since they’re the happiest he’s ever seen them.  He gets right away why Dean would need to change his name and how hard it would be for him to give up Winchester and replace it with something else.  He’s deeply moved, and touched that Dean wants to use his name as his new identity, “I’d be real honored Dean.” 

Dean can hear the emotion in the familiar voice and smiles, “Well I consider it an honor too Bobby.  Thanks.  You know.  For everything.”  They hang up with Bobby promising to visit for one of the upcoming holidays.

Dean Singer first tries working in construction again, like he did during his year with Lisa and Ben, but soon someone he’s building a house for notices the Impala and quizzes him about it.  Turns out the guy owns a specialty auto shop in Salinas where they focus on old muscle cars.  He’s impressed to hear the stories about how many times Dean’s fixed up his baby and hires him off the construction crew on the spot.  At first Dean can’t believe his luck and asks Jesse if he had anything to do with it.  “Nope, wasn’t me, I was too busy with my homework this week, it was all you Dean.”  Dean also starts taking some business classes at the local community college, hoping to be able to open his own shop in the near future.  He somehow gets talked into hosting a radio program at the college station.  Of course, his show is all classic rock for a whole hour segment, just once a week, but he plays the hell out of all those songs they used to listen to constantly in the Impala driving from job to job.

Sam Winchester is able to enroll late at Monterey College of Law in the fall semester, getting his transcripts sent from Stanford, it seems too easy at first how it all just came together, but Jesse swears it wasn’t him “No Sam, it really wasn’t me, I don’t know about all that paperwork stuff, how would I have fixed it for you?  Guess you’re just smart, huh?”  He finishes his degree up pretty quickly and finds a job in a local legal aid group for the migrant farm workers in the area.  Sam needs to learn Spanish so he hires one of the already bilingual women who work there to tutor him at home.  She also teaches him how to bake the best pies.  Dean’s thrilled with that of course, and Sam loves to be able to make and feed him his favorite food. 

While all the school and work activities are great and fill up their lives with something that feels purposeful and useful, Sam still struggles with his Hell memories on a regular basis.  Mostly they appear as nightmares that Dean is able to soothe him through, but sometimes he’s gotten trapped in hallucinations in the middle of the day.  They realize this pretty much counts him out from any hunting and Dean isn’t interested in hunting solo anymore.  Both he and Dean miss it of course, but they figure they’re basically on a hunt 24-7 having Jesse around and besides after giving their lives several times over to the cause, it seems like they should quit while they’re ahead of the game.  It’s easier to give up hunting than either of them would have ever imagined. But what’s replaced it, their new life together, and their little family unit with Jesse, it seems almost too perfect.  They both have to remind each other that yes good things can sometimes happen to the Winchesters.  Or the Singer-Winchesters for that matter.

Jesse Singer-Winchester actually enjoys middle school, he’s missed being around kids and is busy catching up on the stuff he missed in the years he was on his own.  Pretty soon he has a group of friends that’s always coming over to their house to hang out, play xBox and throw Frisbees on their stretch of the beach.  He’s happy just to let himself fall back into being a kid, trying, as much as he can to forget about his powers.  He loves Sam and Dean so much already, and feels really safe with them, they don’t treat him like a monster or anything, and he can tell that they love him too in their own way.  No one at school really bugs him about his “two dads”, but he’s prepared to defend them to the death.  After all, one of them saved the whole damned world and no one will ever even know it. 

Jesse feels really lucky to live with Sam and Dean, because he’s figured out that their relationship, however illegal and unconventional is based in a really unusual and powerful love.  And he gets a lot out of being around this love, it’s like an extra warm blanket covers their whole house.  It’s one of those newer powers he’s discovered, not only can he see people’s auras, but also relationship auras.  Sam and Dean’s is like no other one he’s encountered, so he knows it’s beyond rare.  He can see that there’s an inseparable, complicated twining together of their individual auras, as if one couldn’t exist without the other. He wonders if he’ll ever have a partner like that, he starts to let himself hope that he will.  Jesse still really misses his mom and dad, but he knows he can’t ever go back to them, it would be confusing and maybe dangerous too.  His powers easily keep both his parents and his new family all hidden from both angel and demon view. 

Dean and Sam are sitting on their deck chairs, watching Jesse and his friends running around like crazy people on the beach, just drinking a beer and relaxing on a late fall Sunday afternoon.  “Hey, you feel like an old fart yet?” Dean kicks Sam in the ankle to get his attention.

“Little bit I guess.  Why, do you?”  Sam kicks him back, then starts rubbing his toes up and down Dean’s calf, he likes that Dean wears shorts sometimes now.

“Yeah, I do.  I like it though.”  Dean sighs and stretches out in his chair, bowlegs falling open.

“Really, I’m surprised.” Sam responds, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

“Hey, I never thought I’d ever get a chance to live past thirty remember? And here we are with a damned house, a kid in school, and jobs and you know, everything else.”  Dean circles his hand between them, in a motion indicating possibly them, their relationship, the chairs, Sam doesn’t know.

“Everything else?” Sam tilts his head in that questioning puppy dog manner he’s always had.

“Yeah, you and me.” Dean rolls his eyes fondly and finishes off his beer, while Sam focuses on the line of his beautiful throat when it’s on display.

“I’m still your everything huh?”  Sam grins at him widely, amusement and love dancing in his eyes.

“Yes Sam, you are still my everything. And before you ask, yes you always will be.”  Dean tries to look at him sternly, but utterly fails as his whole face softens as he sees Sam’s reaction to his words.

Sam ducks his head down, hoping to hide the tears he knows he’s about to shed, “That’s good to know.  It’s just nice to hear once in a while.”

Dean scoots his chair over closer and pulls Sam into a hug, softly kissing his tears away “Aww Sammy, I always forget you need these chick flick moments every now and then.  I don’t mind them so much anymore you know.”

“Yeah I know Dean.  But, thanks.”

“Thanks for what?”

“For putting up with me, I know I’m not always easy to live with.  And you know, you’re still my everything, and you always will be.”

Dean’s face changes as he hears Sam’s words, looking so intent all of a sudden, holding his face gently between his hands, thumbs sweeping over his lips, green eyes sparkling with that depthless love Sam can never get enough of, “Thanks Sam.”

“For what?”

“For coming back to me.  For saving the world.”

“You’re welcome.”

~Fin~


End file.
